A Day Almost Unbearable To Be Away

Throughout these last 6 months, every curve of this roller coaster has been hard. But the hardest drops that come are when I am told that my dad endured pain. I hate knowing that he hurts and I just want to take it away. My mom called this morning with one hand on the phone, my brother on the other line and one hand holding her laptop calling me. She was letting us both know that my dad had been in excruciating pain the entire day, from the moment the chemo drip began. The tears immediately rolled down my face, as I so badly want to do something to take it all away. And yet, there's nothing I can do but pray and encourage my dad. Whether dad was standing, sitting; no matter what position, he was in absolute pain- the worst yet for 10 hours. They put my dad on a dilotin drip, which is heavier pain narcotics than morphine. The dilotin still didn't work. My mom said that his pain was in his pancreas and down to his lower back. When the chemo was over, the nurses told them that they could go home if they wanted since it was a holiday. My dad immediately said "no, please let me stay." Both mom and dad said, "we don't care about the holiday... we just got to get better." He knew with the excruciating pain that he was in, he was not in any condition to go home and needed to be in a doctor's care. As soon as my dad said that, the nurse knew that his pain was serious and though he was trying to stay so calm on the outside and strong.... she now knew how bad it really was. My mom said that he did stay strong all day and didn't even moan in agony though that's how he felt, and all he could say out loud was "God please help me."

My mom called us when dad had finally been able to feel the dilotin working and easing the pain. He was close to falling asleep when she called and she was in complete relief. We don't know what the pain was caused from. My mom heard one person walk by (she couldn't remember if it was a nurse or who); but they said that maybe the pain was caused by the chemo breaking down the mass. We are praying that is what it was. We are also asking that you pray that pain subsides and never resumes. My dad's weight has dropped the lowest yet and broke my heart today to hear the number. Dad is fragile and frail and even struggling to walk, my mom says. Please pray that they can figure out this food issue and getting him strengthened and weight back on him.

Thank you for the continued love, support and prayers. We are so grateful to our good family friend Curtis Powell, who works at a hospital down the road from COH. He stopped by last night to see my dad and rubbed his lower back where that pain was and just prayed over my dad. My dad was very grateful for the love and support that Curtis showed him. I didn't get to talk to him today, as he was not feeling up to talking..... but my heart was breaking and I sent love, hugs and kisses for my mom to give to him.