My dad's desire was to never give up on City of Hope and wanted to try every treatment that they had for him. Some people asked why there was never a bone marrow transplant. The reason for this was that my dad's cancer never shrunk enough for them to perform that transplant. It was supposed to reach a certain size before they could do it.
My dad waited things out to receive his final scan after the last treatment option COH had for him. When my parents received that final prognosis of 2-4 weeks left to live, they were ready financially (thanks to all of the fundraisers put on by the community) and their hearts were still prepared to keep fighting. Although my dad immediately stopped to pray with my mom after comforting one another, and told the Lord that he would still praise him with this diagnosis (in this storm); he never gave up his will or determination to still live. When the doctors came in to discuss this a little more, with details of hospice and such; my mom began to ask about the alternative medicine. My mom and her family had already had the treatment from Dubai all lined up and were financially prepared to keep battling. When the COH doctors heard this, they looked at each other with sad faces and back at my parents. They proceeded to tell my mom and dad that this treatment could possibly shrink the cancer; but because of the cancer growing so massive and attaching itself to all life giving vessels and organs, he would be in absolutely excruciating pain that no drug could touch. As the cancer would begin to shrink, the organs would begin tearing apart. As hard as this all is to write, I know it is also hard to hear. But with all of this being said, we want everyone to know that we fought the hardest we could fight. And when it all came down to it, if my dad had to go.. being God's will for his life, not his own choice; he wanted to go peacefully with his family around him. I love how my brother put it:
It was like dad was on a boat stranded in the ocean, and for 8 months we continually asked God for rescue. And it came in the form of a life raft; one chemo raft after another. We just wanted to make sure that no one felt as though we were handed more life rafts, yet failed to take them. With what we thought was the final life raft, then becoming aware to us to be the complete opposite and actually would be detrimental to my dad's life; we then knew, and began to have a peace that Lord decided it was dad's time. This became very evident to us when the Lord took him home exactly one week later. My dad continued to surrender his will to the Lord, and the peace that was all over my dad was amazing to see. The day before my dad passed, I asked him if the vomiting all day was wearing him out and if he just wanted the Lord to take him home. But he looked me in the eyes and said, "I don't want to go yet, but it looks like the Lord has different plans for me, and I'm okay with that." He always kept the "Eye of Tiger" and never gave up. But he did ultimately trust the plan that God had for him.
Since my dad passed away, I have been looking through his Bible, drawers, anything trying to find something that my dad wrote, that maybe he wrote to me; something that would help me to have more peace about him going. I hadn't found anything.
Then yesterday, my mom and I were at my grandma Mortimore's house (my mom's mom). My grandma handed my mom a book for her to read on losing a spouse and she told my mom that their was a little something inside also for her to read. As my mom opened it and began to read, half way through she realized it was a letter that my dad had written. We began to sob as we read his precious words. My dad had written this letter to my grandma and grandpa when their son (my Uncle Billy) had passed away from cancer 8 years ago. We feel like God had this for us. And hopefully his letter touches your hearts like it has ours and has given us a little more peace.
Please listen to one of my dad's favorite songs and a song that our family is clinging on to...
Thank you again for all of your love, prayers, support, meals, financial gifts, selfless acts of service, encouragement through emails, phone calls, texts and facebook. We will never forget the love that has been poured over our family in such a difficult time of our lives. Thank you.
The Gwaltney Family
RANDY EUGENE GWALTNEY Randy Eugene Gwaltney, born June 20th, 1960 in Oklahoma, went to be with his Savior on January 4th, 2012. The Lord took him home after a long, hard, eight-month battle with pancreatic lymphoma cancer. After his final prognosis of 2-4 weeks left, he chose to go home to be with his family. He was surrounded and held by his wife and children as he took his last breath Wednesday evening. Randy was a man of integrity and honesty. He displayed characteristics of courage and strength. He fought the good fight and kept the "eye of the tiger," but he ultimately trusted in God's perfect plan. He never gave up the fight, and has encouraged not only his family but also so many other people. Randy lived to serve Christ foremost and others secondly. He spent the majority of his life loving his precious bride. He loved his children with all of his heart. He strived hard to lead by example and lead his family in God's truth. One of his favorite Bible verses was 3 John 1:4, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." Randy was inspired by God to take what he had learned to teach other men how to be loyal and faithful husbands. He facilitated a Men's Group at High Desert Church where he led men by example on how to treasure and cherish their wives and marriages. Randy served his community as a Sergeant for San Bernardino Sheriffs Department for 25 years. He worked in many different departments at different stations, but enjoyed serving his last years at the Apple Valley Station. He built great friendships with his co-workers that became more like a second family to him. Randy lived 46 of his 51 years in the Victor Valley. He was a member of High Desert Church, where he loved worshipping. His favorite hobby was spending time with his family. He enjoyed traveling, being in the outdoors, fishing, and golfing. Randy loved sports and being involved with his kids in their passion for sports. He spent many years coaching for his kid's teams at Apple Valley Christian School. He was a faithful supporter of Life Outreach Ministries and Surfing The Nations in Sri Lanka. Randy supported many charitable fundraisers for the Sheriffs Department and was also a member of Foot Printers International. Randy was preceded in death by his dad Jerry Gwaltney, and is survived by his wife of 33 years, Tammi Gwaltney; his son and daughter-in-"love" Travis and Janelle Gwaltney; his daughter and son-in-"love" Tiffany and Cody Carothers; his four grandchildren, Samantha Gwaltney, Jaxon Gwaltney, Koda Carothers, and Kenai Carothers. He is also survived by his mother Lucretta Gwaltney; his brother Carl and his brother and sister-in-law Glenn and Kara Gwaltney. A memorial service will be held in honor of his life at 10 am on Friday, January 13th, 2012 at High Desert Church, 14545 Hook Blvd. in Victorville. A luncheon will be held after the service. A graveside service will be at 2 pm at Sunset Hills Memorial Park, 24000 Waalew Road, Apple Valley, CA. The family requests that all donations be sent to Randy Gwaltney memorial fund at Alaska Federal Credit Union, 15961 Apple Valley Rd., Apple Valley, CA 92307. Sunset Hills Memorial Park and Mortuary is handling the arrangements. Updated service information and a on line guest book are available at sunsethills.cc.