What To Say

As I look down at the notes I took while talking to my mom today, and with such swollen eyes trying to even read my notes; I don't even know where to begin or what to say. It was a very tough and scary day, needless to say. I will try to stick to the notes. Here goes:

My dad's fever continues to incline and they worked hard all day doing everything to keep it down. He continues to get more yellow, especially in his eyes as his liver is being affected by the tumor and/or chemo. There is nothing they can do for this. He was on Adavan all day to keep him from vomiting; so he slept a lot of the day because of this medicine. Mom watched him as his breathing would change and as he continues to become very weak. We are so thankful to High Desert Church for bringing to dad his only request- their worship CD and their new Christmas CD. Mom said that he has it playing non stop and he really enjoys listening to them both. The doctors would really like to get dad out of his room to bring him some joy, hope, fresh air. He still has mersa, but they will bundle and cover him up very good. They would like for him to try a walker tomorrow. If he is too weak, at least mom can push him in a wheel chair and get him some fresh air and out of the "dungeon."

The tubing in his nose fell out again today and they attempted to put it back in (remember how painful this procedure is). The first nostril attempt failed due to a blood clot in the way. They had to do the other nostril, which now made for 4 times having this tubing put through his nose down into his stomach. My mom can't stomach it or watch him go through the pain, so steps out as they do it. When she walked back in, dad was looking down at his hands that had blood on them from his nose. She told him how proud that she was of him for all that he endures. He told her, 'you know how I did it? I just focused the whole time on hearing my grandkids saying "be a tough boy grandpa."' Mom and I couldn't help but crying as she told me that. He truly has a love for his grand babies that I have never seen before. So here's a little love back TO YOU GRANDPA from two of your grand babies that pray for you every day without having to even be reminded. And they always pray for you too Grandma for strength. They love you both!

From the looks of the ultrasound they did on my dad's liver, the tumor does not look like it is shrinking. Please continue to pray for my family as every day gets harder and harder.